Have been kidnapped by FARC, please send above crisps immediately to secret address in Canberra.
UPDATE 09.00 hours AEST: Negotiations continue. Wotsits due for arrival April 2009. Crisp emergency still ongoing.
UPDATE 20.00 hours AEST: Topic bars x3 on way. Negotiations continue. Crisp emergency still ongoing.
UPDATE 11-03-09 14.00 hours AEST: Topic bars x3 arrived, prompting great joy, unfortunately circumstances have made the eating of them currently impossible. Negotiations continue. Crisp emergency still ongoing.
UPDATE 12-03-09 08.00 hours AEST: Negotiations have stalled. Captors are planning on allowing me to make a trip to Sydney to buy crisps, exact date unconfirmed. Crisp emergency still ongoing.
UPDATE 12-03-09 21.00 hours AEST: Topic bars x3 consumed. Sydney trip provisionally scheduled 22nd March. Crisp emergency still ongoing.
UPDATE 23-03-09 22.00 hours AEST: Sydney trip successfully concluded. Crisps slightly disappointing, chocolate above expectations. Release by FARC imminent. Crisp emergency over.
