Have been kidnapped by FARC, please send above crisps immediately to secret address in Canberra.
UPDATE 09.00 hours AEST: Negotiations continue. Wotsits due for arrival April 2009. Crisp emergency still ongoing.
UPDATE 20.00 hours AEST: Topic bars x3 on way. Negotiations continue. Crisp emergency still ongoing.
UPDATE 11-03-09 14.00 hours AEST: Topic bars x3 arrived, prompting great joy, unfortunately circumstances have made the eating of them currently impossible. Negotiations continue. Crisp emergency still ongoing.
UPDATE 12-03-09 08.00 hours AEST: Negotiations have stalled. Captors are planning on allowing me to make a trip to Sydney to buy crisps, exact date unconfirmed. Crisp emergency still ongoing.
UPDATE 12-03-09 21.00 hours AEST: Topic bars x3 consumed. Sydney trip provisionally scheduled 22nd March. Crisp emergency still ongoing.
UPDATE 23-03-09 22.00 hours AEST: Sydney trip successfully concluded. Crisps slightly disappointing, chocolate above expectations. Release by FARC imminent. Crisp emergency over.
8 comments:
Would Quavers be OK?
We are talking well armed narco-terrorists and you are offering Quavers, it's my life at stake here! Hula Hoops maybe, Quavers is just an insult. At least you didn't say Monster Munch, small mercy there.
Oh by the way, they plan to start cutting off fingers soon, just so as you all know.
If it's fingers they want I could send Cheesy Puffs as a distraction - they are finger shaped, and they probably taste nicer than fingers. They might not notice the difference.
Can we help!!
http://samboy.com.au/
Dear Samboy, thank you very much for your kind offer of assistance in this sensitive matter. However I'm afraid the kidnappers are quite specific in their requirements.
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